Six-year-old-in-the-house!

This morning I awoke to the sound of Ella coughing, not something I love to hear in any situation, but especially on her birthday.

She came in my room and I braced myself for her sickly cuddly mode to hop into bed and snuggle up, instead she leaned in and whispered

"Did you wrap my presents yet? and did Liana get me a present? cuz I got her a present for her birthday and I got Nina a present on her birthday.......(yadda yadda yadda-you get the picture)"

All year long when I tell her I will not be buying whatever new thing is being advertised during the Dora commercial breaks, she says to me

"Maybe for my birthday could you get me a _____?" And I usually take the chicken way out and say "Maybe, we'll see."

Starting in November she begins the conversations with "when it's my birthday I want to have sparkly bracelets for all the kids and I want to invite everyone I know and I want to have prizes and ...yadda yadda yaddda...!"

And I take the chicken way out and say "We'll talk about it when it is your birthday, we won't have everything, but we will have fun things."

This answer gets me through the other girls birthdays and holidays but it means that once the party is on the calander all bets are off, and my little diva must be tamed daily.

Don't get me wrong, she is grateful for everything and shares at the drop of a hat, but she just thinks soooo many things are fabulous that she can hardly contain herself when she thinks there might be one of the things she has been longing for wrapped up in ribbon for her.

So the party is scheduled and we have a plethora of sparkly, frilly things to do - the big thrill this year will be stringing their own candy bracelets. I am already anticipating the shrieking fun of a gaggle of giggly girls and mentally reminding myself to take ibuprofen before the headache sets in.

I ask myself why I want to throw a party each year, and I guess the reason is that I want her to feel special, I want each of my girls to be a princess for a day.

Growing up in a family of 6 children I never felt like my parents loved one of us more than the other, but it was sometimes a little too easy to feel a bit lost in the shuffle. My birthday was always a time where I did feel special, and I felt like people really did like me and that my opinions mattered. My Mom shared her birthday with me and only now I can really appreciate what that must have meant in self-sacrifice some years.

So thank you to my Mom who gave me the gift of life and the beautiful childhood birthdays that made me feel celebrated, even when my hairstyle and choice of eyeglasses weren't worthy of applause

And thank you Ella for reminding me what that feels like, and for the last time, I am not buying a Barbie that is taller than you! (But I might get a princess one with a horse!)

Happy Birthday Dad

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!

Today was my father's birthday, and actually, since I live in the US and he lives in Hong Kong, yesterday was his birthday. I love my Dad, he has been a great father to me, provided all the necessities of life when I was growing up, and figured out how to give me many of the luxuries too, braces for my teeth etc. So what did I get my Father for his birthday?....

Nothing

Did I forget to get something? No, I just can't seem to find the right thing anywhere. He has worked hard in his life and has achieved much, He travels a lot now and has seen things I only dream about, he makes a very decent living and no longer has to support me, and my 5 siblings. I guess I feel like if there is something he needs, he gets it. Occasionally I find a book I think he might enjoy, but even that is only small repayment for the love of literature and joy in reading he helped to give me. I try to send pictures of my children fairly often and I look for things all the time that I hope might be a present he would enjoy, but mostly I think nothing is just the right thing. So tonight, I think maybe I have thought of something that He can really appreciate, and feel free to use over and over again, something he probably longed to hear many times over his years as my father, here it is;

"You were right"

There it is, in large bold print even, You DAD, you were right, in the following ways

1. When you wanted to provide for me in ways I didn't like, such as trying to use your contacts to get me an "easy" or at least clean job instead of me doing early morning janitorial work. At the time I had a huge "pride-induced" need to assert myself, make my own way, and spread my wings. Now as a parent I already seen the beginnings of this in my own girls, and while I don't regret the instinct to learn to do things on your own, you were right, I didn't have to do it with cleaning products at 5 AM each morning.

2. There really was someone for me. I remember once when you visited me at school, my senior year, post mission, facing graduation, and still oh so very single. I remember you asking me about my social life and being very quiet when I broke down and confided my loneliness and admitting that I too had concerns about my future and where it would take me. You were very reassuring and supportive and told me not to worry.
You were also right to like Eddie, maybe even more than I did, right from the very start. I got a little nervous when the two of you began conversing in Chinese and I didn't know what about, but you liked him and you didn't push me too much, and here we are married 7 years and 3 kids later.

3. You sent me to China. Ok you didn't actually send me, I chose to go, but when I graduated
and had nothing specific to do, you gave me a chance to go do something good, in a place where I had to rely on prayer and the kindness of English-speaking strangers to survive. You kept me from just sitting sround or from doing something dumb just for the sake of doing something. You also gave me a chance to be a minority, to live on the other side of the world and really embrace the love of most things China you gave to me in my youth. You taught me from the beginning that people are people, no matter the color of skin, shape of eye, or language they speak.

4. You helped introduce me to God. As a teenager, searching for answers to the future, I remember going to a youth conference where they sent us out on our own to meditate and pray for a while and they gave us envelopes to open after a while, inside was a note that I still have somewhere, it basically said that you had tested the Book of Mormon, and that you had gained your own testimony. At that time, I prayed, really prayed for the first time to know if God really exists, and I got my answer, I know that God lives and that He loves me. Later in my life I prayed about the truthfulness of the restored gospel and again received my answer, and this time, a clarity, that my whole life I have known that God loved me, because you and Mom loved me. You taught me to have faith and to serve God by serving others.
You were also right when you asked me to babysit children I didn't like and to be friends with the odd ducks or strays that ended up at our house for the holidays. You were right to make us go as a family to scout camp, to teach us to work and serve together.

5. You were right to make us garden, and really I can't remember if you really made me garden, I just remember that we always had something growing that was edible. I think I learned patience and appreciation for food from that time, and now if I don't have at least a tomato plant in my garden, I feel a little sad.

6. I could go on and on, and maybe I will in a more private email, but I wanted to say too, that you were right when you married Mom. As Eddie and I have figured out a few things in our married life, I think about the example of you and mom. You aren't perfect, either of you, but you are together, and that sticking together is harder than it seems sometimes. I see so many of my childhood and even more recent memories as studies in togetherness, whether it was a vacation or a move across country, we were a family together, for a great amount of time, and that's another gift you gave me, a really fun family.

So, thank you Dad, for all the lessons you have taught me in life, and all the advice I expect to still receive. Thank you for being a great dad and a fantastic Grandfather,
I love you Dad, Happy Birthday!